Polite Indian

Education is a topic that is very dear to me. I have always wanted to do something in this area. Something Big! Don’t know when I will be able to do that but till then I will continue to dream of that. In the meantime I have come accross this organization called Schools For India. They seem to have taken the first step in that direction.

The objectives of the trust are admirable. I always thought that something like this will be needed to bring rural India in the mainstream.

To design, construct, establish, run and maintain educational schools in various
districts in India.

To apply the Trust Fund or any part thereof for the general purposes of
designing, constructing, establishing, running and maintaining of schools and in
payment of all rents, rates, taxes, cost of insurance, repairs and other
outgoings payable from time to time in respect of the schools or any property
on which schools are constructed.

They have plans to setup schools in all parts of rural India. And they have big plans.

6000 schools across the country have been planned. Each of the schools will
have the capacity to teach 945 students, including up to 15 special children from
Primary to secondary school.

This is an amazing effort and I think it has huge potential. If done right they can achieve the objective of opening 6000 schools by 2020. It is a huge task and in that they will need every help they can get. They are doing some right things like roping in the corporations to sponsor one or more cluster for a period of 15 years. This willgive a chance to the corporations to discharge their corporate responsibilities to some extent. A similar model will be followed for celebrities.

In addition to this I think they would do good to focus on the revenue model of the schools. The schools should not be run entirely on donations. Donations should be used for the initial setup of school infrastructure and to get it off the ground but the daily maintenance and running of the school should come from a continuing source. In this case it will be fees. It is a very important point to consider.

Another thing that I think they can do is open one good school in urban area where they can get more success and use the profit from there to run a couple of schools in the rural areas. If they see success here then the model can be repeated. It is important to have a revenue source for plans like these to succeed and depending solely on charity can prove detrimental.

On the whole it is a very commendable effort and I wish them well. I for one definitely want them to succeed.

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I Receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels Looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the Car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make These products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup wa ter in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in  my face…disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are Actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support Our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big Brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us. I can live a better life now because he’s told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don’t forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door Neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician…

Have a wonderful day….. Oh by the way…..
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, Has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late!

The world is becoming more and more intolerant and the leaders stupid by the day.

Lot of Hindu Indians tell the muslims that if you don’t like in India then go to Pakistan but if somethings happens to Indians like the Shilpa Shetty episode we cry racism and how the other countries should change to accomodate us.

The latest gem comes from Hema Malini.

Hema Malini was electioneering for the February 1 local corporation elections when she was asked at a meeting about north Indians not being happy with the treatment given to them. “If they have a problem, they should go back,” she allegedly replied.

At times like these you can see the prejudices coming out. I am sure even after all this she well continue to be in politics and she will always be that “Dream Girl”.

Of course in politics it is not easy to get away with something lilke that and that’s why BJP is in trouble over this

“The BJP should give an explanation on this statement of Hema. I demand that Hema Malini should take back her statement and apologise to the north Indians in Mumbai,” said Congress spokesperson Sanjay Nirupam.

BJP’s alliance partner Shiv Sena was clearly put on the defensive. Though Sena has always used its “Mee Mumbaikar” campaign for political gains, the party does not want to alienate itself from the north Indians.

But even then the BJP says it was a casual remark

BJP leaders refused to comment on the issue but insisted that Hema’s comment was an innocent and casual remark and not too much should be made out of it.

Such casual remarks can create a lot of hooplah on the “Big Brother” but while campaigning for an election…nothing!

I think such comments should be highlighted and told to everyone. Such small incidents highlight the prejudices that people have against people from different region, country, race, caste or whatever else.

Gujarat is a dry state but the influx of liquor is no less than any other state. The citizens have decided to break the law Gandhi Style and consume liquor in public.

CNN-IBN reports

Every year, lakhs of bottles of liquor are destroyed by the Gujarat prohibition department. But more of it is believed to be surreptiously consumed in the state.

Now a group under the banner maltmarch.org is trying to bring the fact to light. They are planning a public debate on the issue next month.

The group has also planned a rally that will end with volunteers gulping down liquor in full public view.

“The idea is to show support for the cause. Only a handful will drink in defiance of the law. It’s going to be a symbolic gesture,” says Coordinator, maltmarch.org, Dinesh Ahuja.

For supporters of the bacchanalian cause, it’s the environment of fear that is stifling.

“Liquor is freely available. Eminent citizens consume it. What is really most disturbing is that people are afraid to come out in the open,” says Ahuja.

Now this comes at a time when the organisers are celebrating 75 years of Dandi March by Gandhi.

Ironically, the idea of the malt march first came up as the organisers were raising a toast to mark 75 years of Gandhi’s Dandi march. Ahuja says Gandhi himself spoke of complete prohibition and not selective prohibition.

And with this effort, the group says it aims to free the Gujarat spirit. Or should we say, the spirits for the Gujaratis?

Such Gandhigiri?

I love it ! Gimme more!!!

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver  a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver  a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or  woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child  is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the  PROCESS to produce a baby.

And lastly……………..

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby

 Cat Theorem:
——————————-
A cat has nine tails.
Proof:
No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than
no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
—–
 Message
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please
rotate your phone 90
degrees and try again.”
—–
 Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a
banana?
A: | elephant | * | banana | * sin(theta)
 Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant with a
mountain climber.
A: You can’t do that. A mountain climber is a
scalar.

Adders
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, “Go forth and multiply.”
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby
animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. “What’s the problem?” says Noah.
“Cut down some trees and let us live there”, say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again.
Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, “Want to tell me how the trees helped?”
“Certainly”, say the snakes. “We’re adders, so we need logs to multiply.”
Mathematician - differentiation operator
A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental
hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying “I differentiate you!”
One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said “I differentiate you!”, but for once, his victim’s
expression didn’t change.
Surprised, the mathematician marshalled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly “I differentiate
you!”, but still the other man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out “I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!”

The new patient calmly looked up and said, “You can differentiate me all you like: I’m e to the x.”

Mathematician - The Fire Fighter

One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman. The fire chief says, “Well, you look like a good guy. I’d be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test.”
The firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spicket, and
a hose. The chief then says, “OK, you’re walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?”
The mathematician replies, “Well, I hook up the hose to the spicket, turn the water on, and put out the fire.”
The chief says, “That’s great… perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you’re walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?”
The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, “I light the dumpster on fire.”
The chief yells, “What? That’s horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?”
The mathematician replies, “Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I’ve already solved.”

—–
 Q: What’s the contour integral around Western
Europe?
 A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!

Addendum: Actually, there ARE some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable!
—–
Q: What’s a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
—–

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

—–

I Think Not
I do not think-therefore I am not. Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, “Ah, good evening Monsieur
Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?”. Descartes replied, “I think not.”, and promptly vanished.

Fence

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed “We can assume the length is infinite…” and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said “I define myself to be on the
outside.”
—–

 Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog “Cauchy”?
A: Because he left a residue at every pole!

This is my third post on the topic. I wanted you all to know about this as many of you have commented asking for details.

Bharat Punarnirman Dal (BPD) have launched their website. It is by no means a comprehensive website but has the initial elements in it. There is a page about BPD and another about its Strategy.

After years of study and hands-on experience at the grassroots level it became clear to the group that without reforming the political system any attempt to reform the society or the governance will be futile. Soon it became clear that the problem is not the lack of resources but it is inefficient management of the resources. In other words in order to get a lasting and widespread solution instead of trying to solve the problems and issues themselves it is better to improve the problem solving mechanism. This problem solving mechanism or the System that governs the country is already there and has sufficient reach and resources but because of inefficiencies at every level of this system it has become ineffective. (link)

According to them they have entered the political stage with an aim to reform the political system. I think the aim is noble and hope every memeber of the party holds it dear.

Bharat Punarnirman Dal was founded with a belief that qualitative improvement at the topmost level will be reflected throughout the structure that lies beneath them. Thus this political organization is an attempt to fundamentally reform the political system, which produces the top level managers – the politicians, by introducing quality and dynamism at the political level so as the country is run by politicians by choice not by chance or by birth.

The website throws some light on what their strategy is.

Unfortunately politics figures no where when it comes to choosing a career option. The talent pool of the country opts for other career options with which it always remain subservient, as far as policy making is concerned, to the political echelons, which ultimately is chosen by those who have nothing else to choose.

Taking into account the sordid state of affairs as far as the existing political system is concerned, with nepotism and undemocratic structures prevalent in the existing political organizations, even if somebody wants to opt for politics as a career option, he has no choice available that he can choose and stick to with dignity. Thus in the present scenario politics has become an exclusive preserve of people either with abundance of money or with muscle power or with some political legacy. A common man with a vision for his country and a plan to implement it finds no way to enter the legislature, even if he wishes to.

This is very true. Nobody today talks about politics as a good thing to be in. If BPD can change that I think that will be an awesome thing to do. In other countries like US you will find young dynamic guys fighting elections on issues and very keen to enter politics even after graduating from Harvard, Yale or Princeton. But in India, very few will even think about it as a career.

Bharat Punarnirman Dal as an institution is meant to fill that lacuna. Knowing that competition begets quality, Bharat Punarnirman Dal is an attempt to make politics more ‘competitive’ by making it more accessible to the people. It intends to provide a platform to the people who have a vision for the country but lack the wherewithal, in terms of institutional support and electoral experience, to participate in active politics.

This is all good if done properly. Two main things in their strategy are

• Make politics accessible to people.
• Make politics a career choice for people.

I think both of these are good. I just hope they do it right and get the right message to the people.

Now for all those who have commented previously asking the contact details. Here it is

Ghaziabad: KJ-116, Kavi Nagar, Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh–201002 Phone: 9990160360, 9212189125 info@bharatpunarnirman.org bpd@bharatpunarnirman.org	Lucknow: Bharat Punarnirman Dal House No.459, Sector-14, Indira Nagar, Lucknow-Uttar Pradesh Phone: 09935420762
Mumbai: Ekta Rahiwashi Sangh, Charai, Thane(West), Maharashtra-400602 Phone: 9819810785/9821037731	Hyderabad: S-3, Diamond Towers, OU Road, New Nallakunta, Hyderabad-500044 Phone: 9247710504
Pune: B/14 Shrinivas Park, Baner Road,Pune-Maharashtra Phone: 09960582233

On the face of it, looks like BPD is doing the right thing. Time will tell how far they go. In any case we wish them good luck.

When I first wrote about BPD I didn’t think that there will be such positive response to the initiative by ex IITians. Lot of you asked me about the contact information and one commentator (Mr. Suresh gangawar) had been kind enough to leave Mr Ajit Shukla’s phone number. I called just to check whether it was the right number and indeed it was. I spoke with Mr. Ajit Shukla for 15-20 minutes and told him about the response on this blog. He was very happy just to receive a phone call from New York and said it was morale boosting.

BPD will soon make their website public and then anybody who wishes to contact them can do so there. In the meantime I have Mr. Ajit Shukla’s email address. Anyone who wants it leave a comment and I will send you that since Mr. Shukla asked me not to publish it on the blog. I will send the email address to those who have already asked for it.

Mr. Shukla was in Dehradun Uttranchal when I spoke with him and is pretty busy with his campaign. He himslef is contesting UP election from Lucknow. He will be a busy man for the next few months so all of you eager to write to him keep in mind that he might not respond to all of you. Eventually he might but not right away.

I hope to see more from BPD and wish they will publish their ideas and plans on the website which is due for a launch in couple of days.

We Wish them Best of luck.

I came accross this funny site a while ago. It is called Engrish.com

What is Engrish?

In their own words

Q. What is Engrish?

A. Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design.

They have some real nice pictures and they are hilarious.

Visit it and LYAO!